What If?
by The Amber Author
Summary: Percy, Thalia and Nico play a game of What if. But what do the Olympian gods have to do with it?
1. Chapter 1

"My turn." Nico demanded, as he lay in the grass. "What if... what if Thalia liked Luke and Artemis knew?"

Thalia blushed and threw a few natchos at him. "First of all I _don't _like Luke, and second, I'd sworen off boys and I mean to keep it that way." She yelled.

Percy chuckled. He took a natcho and munched it. "I think that Artemis would turn Luke into a Jackelope and throw him to some villagers, or _better, _turn him into Justin Beiber and throw him to fans."

Nice laughed, very unnaturally. The son of Hades rarely even _smiled_, but truth be told, the idea of Luke turning into JB was just ridiculous.

"Me now," Percy said. "What is Nico was a child of Aphrodite?"

The hints of the previous laugh faded of Nico's face. "Jackson, I _swear-"_

"Silena wouldn't let him in without giving him a makeover." Thalia interrupted.

"Drew would _insist _on dying his hair blonde!"

As if the concept itself wasn't enough, Nico started chasing Percy around the Half-Blood Hill, giving the Son of Poseidon a long laugh-and-run marathon.

Finally, though, Nico crashed, probably deciding it wasn't worth it. Percy was really fast.

Percy sat down beside Thalia, still chuckling.

"I'm next." Thalia said. "What if Percy _died,"_

"Now we're talking!" Nico cheered.

"And Annabeth found out that it was _Nico _ who'd killed him?"

_"WHAT!?"_

"She would call Frank and make him squash Nico into a demigod pancake." Percy suggested.

" Or make Leo turn him into an extra-spicy demigod kebab."

"Or-"

"I'm _not _gonna kill Percy!" Nico yelled out. "I mean, as annoying as he is, he's s_till _my cousin, in a weird sort of way."

"Aw, so you _do _care, Death Breath?"

"Oh, _Shut up, Kelp Brain."_

"Turn's on me. What if Thalia kidnapped Percy and then told Annabeth that she wouldn't let him go?"

"Hey!" Percy demanded. "Just 'cause I'm the only one paired, doesn't mean you two have to take advantage of it!"

"Annabeth would pluck her eye balls out and keep them a souvenirs." Nico said, ignoring him."

"I don't kidnap people, or in case you forgot, I'm not as Gory as _you, _Death Breath."

"Ooh, I've got one!" Percy chimed in. "What if you two were stuck in a fight-for-life combat battle?"

"You challenging me, Pincecone Face?"

" 'Course not." Thalia snorted. "I'd barbecue your face, "

"Or call Jason to help you barbecue his face-" Percy added

" You don't stand a chance." Thalia finished.

Nico glared. "I could fight you with an Arm of Skeletons or shadow-travel you to Tartarus."

Thalia snickered. "As if _you _weren't freaked out of that place yourself, Milk-shake face."

"Shut _up, _Old lady."

"I'm not the one who's from the 1940's!

"Well at least-"

"Kay, it's Nico's turn right?" Percy interrupted.

"Yeah," Nico munched on a few nachos. "What if Leo was stuck on an island with nothing but 'nature' and without his tool-belt?"

"He'd turn hippy." Thalia suggested, scooping cheese nachos."

"Or," Percy said, "He'd freak out and have nightmares about a world without technology for the next few months."

They all laughed. "What if someone told Annabeth's laptop?" Percy asked.

"She'd start the second Civil-War searching for it." Nico said.

"No, she'd start the third _World-War."_

_"_What if Thalia was forced into going to Madonna concert?" Nico suggested.

Before Thalia could argue that it wasn't even Nico's turn, her eyes widened in horror.

"_Ew! _No way!"

"She'd probably go insane." Percy said.

" So insane that even Mr. D can't cure her!" Nico added helpfully.

"What if she went to a_ Brinteny Spears _concert?" Percy said.

"That would be something worth seeing-"

"ENOUGH!" Thalia yelled. Grabbing her bow and arrow, she ran around the hill, chasing Percy and Nico.

Percy managed to grab at the bowl on nachos before running off, and Nco trailed behind him, trying to avoid Thalia's arrows.

"GET BACK HERE SO I CAN SCREW YOU BOTH!"

"Fat, chance, Pincecone Face!" Percy yelled back.

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"So... that's why there are arrows around Half-Blood Hill, and that's why Percy and Nico's faces are smeared in mud?" Annabeth demanded, flaying her arms around in disbelief.

"Yep," Percy said, dusting mud of his orange shirt.

Annabeth shook her head at The Children of the Big Three.

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"HA!" Zeus yelled getting up from his throne on Olympus. "You saw that? Thalia TOTALLY won!"

Poseidon snorted from his Throne. "Yeah, right. All that you could do to scare her is mention Madonna. Percy s_o _got her."

Hades's holographic screen shimmered. "Hmph. Nico scared her more. He definitely won."

"Thalia made mud-pies out of these two wanna-be's!" Zeus claimed.

"If I remember right, they all fell into the mud. And Ooh, yeah, that's because _Percy _tripped her!" Poseidon yelled.

"But _Nico _is the one that completely failed your two pesks." Hades said.

"Say that again, Goth-Skull!" Poseidon said.

"Bring it on, Jellyfish!"

Zeus snorted.

"Don't bail yourself out, Lightning Eyebrows!" Hades added in.

Zeus frowned, trying to see his eyebrows. "What in-"

"STOP!" Athena said, walking in. The Three Olympians cleared their throats in embarrassment.

"You are gods. Divine forms. You do not fight on your children." She said.

The gods looked relieved. "_Or _bet on them on a thousand drachmas." She added quickly. "Besides, we all know that Annabeth was the wisest one in the end,"


	2. Chapter 2

"Are you guys sure she's not here?" Percy said, looking around. Nico rolled his eyes at him.

"Yeah,Percy. Dear Annie is not around. Thalia's coming with the co- Oh, there she is!"

Thalia Grace, daughter of Zeus, showed up next to her cousins with a plate of blue chocolate-chip cookies baked especially by Miss Jackson. The only think that all demigods at Camp Half-Blood and Jupiter alike loved and completely drooled over were the cookies she would send every Fourth of July. Today, Percy made a special request for three dozens of cookies.

Thalia threw herself down on the grass.

"Watch out!" Percy said. "Or you'll impale yourself on your arrows!"

Thalia rolled her electric eyes. "You could say the same for Nico. I think he sleeps with that sword of his under his pillow."

Nico blushed. "Whatever, Pinecone Face." he responded. "Last time we were here," he said, looking at the arrows that were still stuck in the grass. "It was your turn. So by all means, let's get on with it."

"Alright," Thalia agreed, taking a cookie as she thought. "What if...what if Piper and Clarisse exchanged bodies?" She cracked up at her own joke, closely followed by Percy and Nico.

"That's so crude I can't even imagine how it'll end." Percy said, catching his breath. He took a cookie. Nico took two.

"I'll go next," Nico said, smirking.

"Uh oh," Percy said. Nico turned to him.

"What?" he asked innocently.

"You ideas tend to be quite creepy," Thalia said, shuddering.

"Yeah," Percy agreed. "Most of them include Annabeth avenging me after Thalia tortures me to death or something.

"Thalia started that fiesta!" Nico demanded, groaning. He seemed to finally find a suitable question. "What if Annabeth was dumb? There, that's better?" He looked hopefully at his cousins.

Percy and Thalia looked at Nico. Then at each other. They broke into a fit of laughter that had to be controlled.

"She-she," Thalia gasped for breath. "Oh gods, Nico, that's not a possibility! If Annie were dumb, we'd have died a thousand times already!"

"Ten-fold." Percy added helpfully, after managing to gain control over his laughter.

"My turn," Percy said, taking three cookies and stuffing them in his mouth. After about twenty seconds of world-record quick chewing, Percy swallowed and grinned goofily at his companions. "What if Blackjack had started dating Scipio?"

Thalia and Nico immediately recoiled.

"Percy!" Thalia half-scolded. "That's just so...so..."

"disturbingly weird." Nico completed. He grinned with new found interest. "I like that!" Thalia shook her head at them, scooped up some cookies, and raised her hand threateningly.

"Don't throw them!" Percy yelled. "You know how much persuasion I needed to use to get those! Mom's cookies are too precious to be thrown, Thalia Grace! These are not cheesy- wait, that's not the right turn, HA, these are not corny- wait, that's not right either...okay, these are not phony nachos! Nachos? Hold on," Percy looked at his cousins in confusion. "What were we talking about again?"

Thalia and Nico shared a look, then shook their heads. "He's hopeless," Nico said sadly.

"My turn," Thalia said, slowly putting down the cookies and chewing on one. "If Batman was a demigod, whose son will he be?"

Nico and Percy stared at Thalia. "Seriously?" Percy said, chuckling. "A...son of Nemesis? I mean, he wants revenge and all, huh?"

"I resent that!" Nico said. "The guy's cool enough to be a Son Of Hades."

Percy snorted. "Yeah, right. That would be like me saying Superman could be a son of Zeus."

"Actually," Thalia remarked, glaring at Percy. "That's a possibility."

Nico smirked triumphantly at Percy. "Oh, shut up!" Percy groaned.

"I didn't say anything."

"Your face says it all, man."

"Since when do you read body-language?"

"..."

"Percy?"

"..."

"Never mind, it's my turn. What do you think would happen if someone dyed Festus pink?"

Thalia snorted. "Trust me, you don't want to do that."

Percy nodded seriously. "I think Jason avoided Leo for a week after that incident."

"Do I even want to know?" Nico inquired.

"Nope."

"Me next!" Percy said. "What if Leo dated Thalia! Thaleo! I like the sound of _that!"_

_**-About an hour later-**_

"Percy this is entirely your fault, you know?" Annabeth said, rubbing some cream on Percy's back. Percy groaned. "I didn't know it was going to turn into a wresting match! We had cookies, Annabeth. COOKIES! I thought that would keep us from fighting." His chin fell into the pillow. "Apparently, I was wrong.

"I got the worst of it!" Nico demanded. "Only for saying that Thalia joined the Hunters because she knew no one would be insane enough to date her. Was there anything wrong with that?"

Annabeth shook her head, sighing. "No, Nico." she said softly. "There was absolutely nothing offending and hurtful about that statement."

"See, even Annabeth agrees!"

"Shut _up!"_ Thalia said.

"Calm down, Thals." Annabeth soothed. "You still have a severed zombie hand stuck to your foot, and yelling at Nico won't pull it off."

The daughter of Athena sighed. _Why me, _she thought.

**-On Olympus-**

"And again," Zeus cheered. "My daughter made your two excuses for off-springs look like deplorable losers!"

"_Ha!" Poseidon protested._ "You call them deplorable losers while your own daughter is scared of a few boys."

"Thalia is _not _scared!"

"You should have seen her face! Redder than Alecto's whip!" Hades added helpfully.

"Thank you, brother." Poseidon said. "Sometimes I just forget that I enjoy your company when you're not being a Death-Head."

Hades glared. "On the other hand, blowfish-for-brains, I seem to remember Nico dealing with Zeus' brat better than your son."

"Oh, you two are just jealous my daughter was able to beat the Styx out of our children."

"Not a _chance, _Thunder-face!" Poseidon yelled.

Zeus opened his mouth to respond to that insult when Lady Athena walked in.

She frowned. "Not _again! _Do I have to keep telling you to stop spying on your children and, I don't know, go make some natural disasters or so? I take pity on Annabeth now! She is burdened with keeping your foolish off-springs from killing each other accidentally."

Athena looked at the ceiling. _Why her?_


End file.
